sometimes, i have something to say, but i'm afraid of saying and I dont feel like saying.
Perhaps, these words and words have accumulated in my heart, to the extent that i can hardly breathe.
I'm lost, i lost all control of my emotions.
i let them lead me, hopefully to where i belong.
it is hard to survive.
What makes it worse is putting up that strong front in front of my friends.
There are definitely friends to laugh with, but there is none to share my sorrowness and my emptiness.
Because, i have not learned to open up.

i guessed, i won't in near future.
for this year, i sincerely hope that i have the strength to last me through the 6 months, the last tier. i wonder how is everyone doing. are they like me? obviously not.

One day, i will make my way up there and look down at those who thought that i cannot make it.
i promise i will.
watch me grow.
watch me get there.
watch me soar.

sometimes, i want to go back and find things i once missed.
but, that's a luxury.

it's tiring, and maybe i wont even find it. things changed.
it is like going round a spot, for many,many times.

So, i tell myself to press on and move on, things missed are missed.
i wont go back and find it anymore, i just wont.

& never will.

i just hope, maybe it can come by again in the future.

i seriously dunno.

just feel so emotional, i feel like crying,laughing and screaming all at once.
gosh, feel so abandoned.
but come on kid, learn how to face it alone, that's how you grow.

but again, i dun wan to grow, cause i want to stop knowing things,
the more i know, the more i have to take.

i'm so sorry to flood this blog with emo stuffs
but i only come here when i'm down
when i'm happy, i'm on facebook.
cuz facebook is just too public.

LIFE IS JUST ENOUGH. LET ME SEE THE LIGHT.

someone please tell me what to do and tell me why i'm into this alone thingy.

sigh,

wa good job, my chatbox is filled with rubbish.
after ensuring that nobody read this blog anymore, it's kind of comforting that i may write what i want again, like shoots my mouth off like nobody's business.

the feeling is quite cool, trust me.

anyway, thanks ah driver, i almost fell out of the bus. thanks lots.
so i hope life is picking up its pace again after um 8 months of grilling ?
but nah, i am still as lost as in the past especially in maths tutorial. omy, must buck up man !
and next is like in guitar, hmmm ya i 'understand' everything.

eh, really dont know whether i should try to get into SYF or like just go with the flow.
but the flow i am going is confirm wont get in one haaa,
eh but come to think of it, even if i try i might not even get in.
considering i haven been exercising my fingers since like wad? like i was born?

k wadever, its damn hard to control. so i admire musicans.

today, i got back my 'v.badly done' SPA mock.
& i got nothing to comment.
ya that's it, i just feel like crying all my stress out.

I JUST HAVE ONLY ONE HOPE
to pull through these 2 years. give me strength to hold on.

due to popular demand, i should just squeeze out one post. (:
whaat, isnt that good?

well, a term had passed, means i am in TJC for a term,
and hurray, still no new friends.
there isnt any "earthquaking" things to comment about, but feel so DAMN nostalgic towards NC & devils. !

and there's sth, i seem to have problem in every single subject, yup i mean every single one.
yea, at least BMW have problems with economics. claps, found 2.
urggh, hard to adjust, i hate staring at maths tutorial question for half an hour and keep liquidpaper-ing my paper!
first, waste liquid paper/ paper ( its still paper, btw)
second, waste my hair ( i soon have to visit beijing 101 )
third, waste time
and what, it really get on my nerves( or right into my neurons)

haaa, so is everyone happy catching up/reading in advance for TERM 2?
i can tell u confidently i am. NOT.


wad a big sigh.

@ TEMASEKK

here i am to blog about FIRST DAY of school.

oh yeah, XEYLA-OG7 !!!! and we like doing to AUTOMATIC CHEER, what jasmine says zi dong sao. oh ya so thats our favourite. LOL HAHAHA.

first day was at the audi, TJC-ians ( nt us ) was damn HIGH and lively, while TJC-ians ( like us ) was DEAD, we are like. WOW-ed but dint do anyth.
ok i still LOVE the part ORIENTATION X x x x x x.
lol. ! later comes the ice-breaking games, oh ok. the ice didnt break, too thick, lol.
but anw hate intro :(

second day was better, i mean at least better,
we did cheers all stuffs more loudly and MASS DANCING WAS SIMPLY GREAT ! :DD
queue-ed for uniform, u would nvr want to know how long i queue-ed.
it's totally, ^%*%*$&%$%^%%!!

ORIENTATION X STARTS OFFICALLY ON 1 FEB :D
I LOVE TEMASEKJC !!

wet day, went to wild wild wet with STELLA tdy [:
its quite a sad ending cos, i thot e original popluation would be like wz,nyse regi, dolly, karen and steph going. in the end only nyse wz and me.

for seniors, so pity didnt get to see them today D:
anyway had a fun time. [:

we sit ular-lah fo how many times ah ? 4/5 ? wa lao, think the CREW there like very shou with us liao. thanks to wz good suggestion.

today we experience tsunami 3 times. LOL

bic 1 time, heee, denyse didnt dare to look back :x

slide up 1 time, omg that's the damn funny part..
the float is like damn heavy den still need climb 4 storeys, plus ppl is use hands to lift up.
den me and nyse was like using our heads. LOL. den we keep got stuck at the staircase.
so fuuuuuuuunnny. plunge down was like no xin li zhun bei, was like WTH. whats this mannzx.

i think we had the most fun at the kids playgrnd, ding ding ding then we will chiong thr so that the bucket of water can fall on our head. anyway the force of water is damn strong one, think concussion LOL. yeah slides were damn fun [:

lol, how i hope more ppl went tdy, it would be FUN-ER [:
ate dinner at buddy hoagies :D UPSIZED.

she needs some inspirations today :D